Imagine your name is Xiao An.
In the morning, you are woken up from your dream by your Android phone. The default Android ringtone is harsh and unpleasant. You climb out of your Android bed in your Android room, pick up your Android electric toothbrush to wash up, and then ride an Android bike to your Android company. During lunch break, you order an Android takeout. Thinking about what to drink, you can't afford the Apple coffee at Starbucks, so as an Android user, you settle for an Android milk tea that would be shot down by the Oriental Pearl Tower in Shanghai.
Android images generated by Android GPT
In the evening, you return home from shopping at Android Sam's Club and cook an "inferior to McDonald's" Android meal. Then, you turn on your Android computer and start a round of Android "Battlefield." As a result, you miss a shot and are killed by an enemy peeking from the side—there's no way around it, Android computers are just laggy.
You might think, what is this nonsense? Where did Android computers come from? Everythinggj described above is just the ordinary daily routine of a young person: waking up, washing up, leaving a rental apartment, scanning a shared bike to go to work, ordering a discounted meal at noon, visiting a farmers' market in the evening, going home to eat, and playing a game. It is the daily bread and butter experienced by hundreds of millions of ordinary Chinese people every day.
However, in the eyes of Hu Sheng, the most tested capitalist warrior on today's internet, a famous Chinese-American named Hu Chenfeng, and his fans, from the moment you buy your first Android phone, or even from the moment you are born in an "Android hospital," the "Android mark" on you can never be washed away.
Please note that the "Hu Sheng" mentioned here does not refer to the seemingly refined and gentle "video Hu," who focuses on mass-producing purchasing power reviews and income disclosure videos using "formulaic camera work," pontificating about the hardships of life. Instead, it refers to the "livestream Hu," who reveals his true nature, constantly talking about privatization, claiming that most Chinese families' New Year's Eve dinners are not as good as McDonald's, and always starting calls by asking about education, job, and phone model.
In his eyes, Everythinggj in the world can be二元ally distinguished between Apple and Android. From the phone a person uses, one can see their personality composition and thinking pattern. People who use Android phones are usually poor, barbaric, greedy for bargains, short-tempered, and argumentative. They have dull eyes and are extremely insecure, their IQ declines year by year, their body structure gradually mutates, and they eventually become complete Losers. On the other hand, people who use Apple phones are usually wealthy, civilized, refined, and gentle. Like the phones they use, they have no flaws and disdain to respond to the arguments and doubts of Android users. The mindset of the strong determines that they always win.
Therefore, in Hu Chenfeng's view, all your failures can be seen from the Android phone in your hand. A few days ago, a student who claimed to have just graduated from high school connected with Hu Chenfeng to ask what computer he should buy for university. Hu Sheng went straight to the point, asking about the other party's phone model. Upon receiving the answer "Redmi K90 Pro," he immediately linked this Redmi phone to the other party's ordinary family background and unimpressive (though still higher than Hu Chenfeng's) educational background. This was followed by talk of "vision," "circle," and "class barriers," finally concluding that "it doesn't matter what you buy, your life is set anyway."
In his view, Apple people are naturally superior to Android people. Android people can only escape their "lowly" cyber-Dalit status and be reborn as Apple Brahmins by humbly accepting their flaws, abandoning Android, and switching to Apple to join the "high-end circle." However, as an Android user, you might not be able to afford an Apple product in your lifetime. And even if you could, because your "first degree" is Android, you will always be inferior to Apple people.
Of course, Hu Chenfeng knows nothing about IT and digital technology. He is completely ignorant of chip processes, performance benchmarks, and system tuning. His judgments and sharp comments on Android and Apple are entirely based on stereotypes. Apart from the cliché that "Android is cheap junk, laggy and trash," he cannot provide any professional analysis.
In fact, the entire origin of the "Android theory" is that this person cannot distinguish between mobile operating systems and computer operating systems. In a livestream in early August this year, while connecting with a game streamer, Hu Chenfeng angrily scolded the other party at the beginning for having echo in their microphone, asking, "What computer are you using? Is it an Android computer?"
The other party was directly intimidated.
"Huh? Are there Android computers? I... I'm using that Gigabyte one."
To this, our Hu Sheng has only one response: "Never heard of it."
Afterwards, perhaps to justify his statements or because his internal methodology had fully clicked, he formally published the so-called "Android theory." He proposed that just as phones are divided into Apple and Android, electric vehicles are divided into Tesla and Android, and computers are divided into Apple and Android. Anything that is not the industry top-tier (in terms of stereotypes) "Apple" is considered cheap, low-end, and having poor user experience, i.e., "Android."
To support his conclusion, Hu Chenfeng seriously provided so-called "evidence": Tesla's central control system uses Linux instead of Android like other manufacturers (he even mispronounced the word). Although the Android system he despises most is also a secondary development based on the Linux kernel, this does not prevent Tesla's central control from being high-end and impressive, because it is Tesla, a high-end Apple electric car.
As someone who practices what he preaches, Hu Chenfeng quickly promoted this theory in his own livestreams. If you are a graduate from a non-prestigious university, found a job with the local average salary, and your parents are ordinary workers, then you have an Android degree, Android job, Android family, Android quality, and are destined to live a relatively mediocre Android life. Even if your cat meows twice, the stressed Hu Sheng will label it a worthless "Android cat."
Meanwhile, his absurd yet universally applicable Android theory spread widely on the internet. For a time, Everythinggj could be described as "Apple" or "Android." Even Hu Chenfeng himself could not avoid being labeled "Android." When making purchasing power videos, he spoke eloquently and communicated smoothly with foreign homeless people in foreign languages, clearly an Apple Hu Sheng. But in his livestreams, he was harsh-spoken, labeling anyone holding a Redmi as "having reached the end of their life," clearly an Android Hu Sheng.
Some people have even combined the Android theory with dialectics, creatively applying the Android theory within both the Apple and Android camps. Relatively speaking, there are Androids within Apple, and Apples within Android. iPhone Pro is Apple, Pro Max is Apple-Apple, and the base model is Android-Apple. Correspondingly, Samsung flagships are Apple-Android, while domestic manufacturers like Redmi, OPPO, and vivo are Android-Android.
The final piece of the Android theory, the "Android mindset," was completed by Feng Ge Wangming Tianya, who is known alongside Hu Chenfeng as one of the twin stars of abstract culture on the Chinese internet. He combined the Android theory with his previously created "3D People" theory (referring to people with low cognition, low quality, and low EQ), proposing that Android users are Android because they love to argue and always want to prove they are no worse than Apple users. Meanwhile, truly elite Apple users never feel the need to prove themselves because their "excellence" is an "objective fact."
Thus, Apple enthusiasts represented by Hu Sheng have truly completed the construction of their "three-dimensional defense." Normally, they can boast of their elite status and freely look down on all Android users who are not as "high-end" as them. If the latter offer any rebuttal, whether proving the merits of "Android" or pointing out the flaws of "Apple," they will fall into the pre-set self-proof trap. At this point, the Apple enthusiasts will adopt an arrogant attitude, saying, "Yes, yes, you're right, because you are an Android user... See, Android people just show off what they lack."
Similarly, when Hu Chenfeng makes the outrageous claim that "McDonald's tastes better than New Year's Eve dinner," he can say, "If you think it tastes good, then it tastes good. Why argue with me? Are you insecure?"
As a result, you and I, who come from ordinary families, do not use the Apple ecosystem, and have to watch our wallets before spending, are all labeled as so-called "lower-class people" by them. Moreover, the more we care about their opinions and try to refute their logic, the more severely we are slandered.
Is this reasonable?
Reasonable my ass.
Admittedly, in the early days of smartphone development, Apple and Android chose different development paths. Apple focused on its closed-source ecosystem and targeted the high-end market, while Android adopted an open-source, wide-net approach. As a latecomer, the Android system lagged behind in UI animations, software optimization, security, and other aspects. Additionally, its open-source nature led to many counterfeit phones using Android. At that time, as Apple had the best mobile system on the market, a batch of inferior imitations emerged.
However, fifteen years have passed since the release of the iPhone 4. Both Apple and Android have gone too far down their respective paths. There is no significant distinction between them in terms of functionality, detail refinement, software ecosystem, or even the expensiveness of flagship models. At most, Apple objectively has a gap in the low-end model market, and users mostly choose based on their usage habits and personal needs.
Since the difference between the two is no longer significant, why do Hu Sheng and others still bring out the "Android theory" to label some people as low-end individuals?
Because the entire "Android theory" is essentially the same as elementary school students excluding classmates who don't have rotary pencil sharpeners or multi-functional pencil cases. It is a comparative behavior intended to elevate one's own value through external objects and thereby gain a sense of superiority by belittling others. The reason for choosing phones as the tool for comparison is simply that everyone has one, just like every elementary school student has their own pencil sharpener and pencil case, leading to childish behavior of comparing with each other.
So, as practical items in daily life, does using a colored eraser or a white eraser, an Android eraser or an Apple eraser, have any actual impact on your quality of life? Can it demonstrate any unique and elegant quality, taste, or cultivation?
Obviously not. Consumerism may improve your quality of life to a limited extent, but it cannot make you noble in any aspect, whether it's a pencil sharpener or an Apple phone.
Everyone understands the big principles, but children still can't help but compare various fashionable trivial items. First, it's pencil cases and erasers, then it evolves to cards and badges, and later to phones and sneakers... The reason is simply to show their uniqueness and become the kid king of the neighborhood.
This is the foundation of the so-called "Apple mindset." In contrast, the "Android mindset" is more like an "equal counterattack" after being stepped on by the popular kids. Of course, this mindset also stems from a competitive desire not to be inferior. However, once you enter the realm of comparison, as a latecomer, you are destined to be trampled by the "veterans" who got there first. Unless a world war breaks out, the New Money from North America will always be bullied by Europe's Old Money.
So, how do we break out of this Möbius strip?
At least I can't think of one.
I am neither mature enough nor a saint, nor am I a pushover. When mocked, I get angry. Even knowing it's a childish trap, I still fall into it—I just can't stand people acting superior, labeling others as so-called low-end bottom-feeders simply because they bought a few phones, played a few games, or traveled abroad a few times, without giving the other party a chance to respond.
Thus, unfortunately, by opening my mouth to speak, I have also become what they call an "Android person."