Ten days after its release, "Super Mario Galaxy: The Movie" broke 100 million in domestic box office, with global box office exceeding 100 billion yen, highly replicating the success of its predecessor. Undeniably, it is still a model example of a video game adaptation film, packed with Easter eggs, homages, and ingenuity, with exquisite production, and visuals and audio enjoyment that are unparalleled in the industry. However, the impression it left on me, a twenty-year Nintendo fanboy...
Honestly, it's not even as profound as Screening Room No. 3 at the cinema, which is contracted by Kouwei Wang Betel Nut.
It's probably a visual representation of the film industry's slump.
Yes, the title is not joking—the Mario movie sequel that topped global box offices is indeed a "bad movie."
Several days before watching, I noticed the polarized reviews for "Super Mario Galaxy: The Movie" on Rotten Tomatoes. The Tomatometer was only 42%, with media reviews almost uniformly negative. In contrast, its Popcornmeter was as high as 89%. The gap between critics' and audiences' evaluations was even greater than that of the first "Super Mario Bros. Movie."
Exploring the source of this huge disparity became one of the main reasons driving me to go to the theater.
As for the other major reason...
Long, long ago, a child unfortunately played "Super Mario Galaxy" during his XP (fetish/preference) enlightenment period. Since then, the child's XP was destroyed by that mysterious older sister-type princess wearing a sky-blue fairy dress, with a cold and melancholic expression, a tall and slender figure, and faintly shimmering maternal glory.
Alright, I'll come clean—Princess Rosalina (Rosalina), who made her debut in "Super Mario Galaxy," is my childhood white moonlight (idealized love). Now that this white moonlight is finally playing the female lead on the big screen, how could I ignore her?
My god, she is charming.
Wait... What do you mean Princess Rosalina, the heroine of "Super Mario Galaxy," appears for less than ten minutes in total from the beginning to the end of "Super Mario Galaxy: The Movie"?
What do you mean Rosalina tells the Star Children (Lumas) a bedtime story and is then kidnapped by Junior Bowser? Her remaining screen time consists solely of bondage play, imprisonment play, slime粘液 play, vore play, and electrocution play torture scenes. There is no character development, no character arc, no highlight moments, and her storyline is entirely subordinate to Princess Peach's. Her only contribution to the whole movie is that the game couldn't start without her?
Yes, Princess Rosalina's role in the entire movie is infinitely close to that of Sleeping Beauty in the fairy tale. After being kidnapped, she just waits for Princess Peach (and Mario's group), acting as the "Prince," to kiss her. Then the credits roll, and everyone lives happily ever after. A happy ending for all.
In the original work, Rosalina's mystery, sense of fate as the Princess of Stars, and Everythinggj associated with them are hardly reflected. She is merely a kidnapped princess.
Moreover, elements from the original game "Super Mario Galaxy" are not particularly prominent in the movie either.
Iconic elements from the original work, such as star fragment shards, spherical level maps, the signature spin move made by shaking the controller, the centennial Stardust Festival, and many other memorable scenes from the original, were not highlighted. They only appeared as Easter eggs, with screen time measured in seconds. Blink, and you might miss them.
In fact, "Super Mario Galaxy: The Movie" has little to do with the game "Super Mario Galaxy"... At best, it could be called a "Galaxy-flavored movie," like Master Kong's beef noodles or the fatty beef rolls in a self-service barbecue. The ingredient list does say there's beef, and it doesn't taste bad, but you can't really taste the beef.
So, why does a movie adapted from "Super Mario Galaxy" marginalize its core theme?
Because ultimately, what the production team wants to convey to the audience is not actually "Super Mario Galaxy"—that thing is already buried, with the last mainline sequel being from 16 years ago. "Mario," however, is an IP that continues to innovate.
What the production team crammed into the 90-minute runtime is various kinds of "Mario"—a lethal dose of Easter eggs, homages, memes, and IP crossovers. This is the "vinegar for the dumplings" the director wants to feed the audience.
Take the opening sequence shown in the trailer as an example—the dirt bikes ridden by the Mario Brothers are clearly homage to "Mario Kart Wii"; the whistling desert and the subsequent arrival at the Mexican skeleton town of Shiveria come from the first major level, "Sand Kingdom," in "Super Mario Odyssey."
The sound effect of throwing fire after using Fire Flowers by the two originates from the original 2D "Super Mario Bros."; the eerie BGM after entering the ruins is a remix of the traditional underground level music from previous generations; the background city in the montage of Yoshi's appearance is Newton City, authentic from "Super Mario Odyssey" and "Donkey Kong: Banana Blitz"—you can even see the classic Donkey Kong jumping on rebar in the background (regrettably, there isn't more Donkey Kong appearance in this movie).
In the latter half, these Easter eggs even transcended the simple "Mario" worldview, connecting the entire "Nintendo" IP universe.
In the middle of the story, the protagonist group arrives at the "Gate of Heaven," a transportation hub connecting various galaxies. Appearing here are not only penguins from "Super Mario 64," yellow moles from "Super Mario World," and the hula dancer from "Super Mario Sunshine," but also "R.O.B.," the packaging Nintendo made for the NES console to break into the slumping North American market. After the Atari shock, the North American market once lost trust in game consoles. It was Nintendo's clever idea to shape the console like a robot to sell to children, which allowed the American game industry to have a second spring.
Soon, the mysterious bean-like Pikmin from space also appeared from a mini rocket. This series is not very popular domestically, so there wasn't much cheer when they appeared, but old fans of the series couldn't help but feel a tremor in their hearts.
Later, they didn't even pretend anymore. Fox McCloud from "Star Fox" directly appeared with a 2D short animation of explosive quality, which could stand alone as a trailer for a new game, and heavily participated in the main storyline. His contribution to the team was two hundred Captain Toads higher than that of Princess Rosalina.
The black-and-white little person who finished off Skeleton Old Bowser (from the NDS platform's "New Super Mario Bros.") with a horizontal B attack can be traced back to the 1980s. This guy is from the same era as Pac-Man and is one of the first named characters in video game history.
Basically, every frame of these 90 minutes withstands so-called frame-by-frame analysis for Easter eggs. The more you play, the greater the impact of this hyper-saturated Easter egg assault. At first, I thought about taking notes while watching to see how many I could collect, but I quickly realized that if I looked down to write one, I'd miss another when I looked up. It was impossible to keep track. In terms of hiding Easter eggs and piling up secrets, "Super Mario Galaxy: The Movie" fully demonstrates what Nintendo quality means. I highly recommend dragging your friends who claim to be "Nintendo fanboys" to watch it together and see who can find more Easter eggs.
However, no matter how many Easter eggs are piled up, they are still just Easter eggs. Watching the movie solely for the Easter eggs feels somewhat like going to a buffet and only taking condiments. Although everyone jokes about "making dumplings for the vinegar," you can't really just serve everyone vinegar, can you?
The production team didn't have that intention. In fact, "Super Mario Galaxy: The Movie" did intend to tell some kind of story... At least, they should have intended to at the beginning.
The production team's plan was to continue the storyline left by the previous work, using "Super Mario Galaxy" as an introduction to tell a three-line narrative story. Princess Peach and Toad embark on a journey to find the princess first, exploring the mysteries of their origins along the way. Mario and Luigi follow the princess, with Old Ma (Mario) eager to give Peach a birthday gift to confirm their relationship. Old Bowser, who ate a Mini Mushroom at the end of the previous work, turned into Mini Bowser. Junior Bowser, in order to rescue Old Bowser and rule the world together with his father, kidnapped Princess Rosalina...
Although "Super Mario Galaxy" became a complete sacrifice in this story structure, looking only at the outline, the story's logic is still reasonably self-consistent.
So, can the production team really tell such a story that is not very "Galaxy" but very "Mario" within the remaining 90 minutes, which have been heavily squeezed by numerous "dumpling vinegars"?
If I were to describe the story of "Super Mario Galaxy: The Movie" in four words, I would choose—
Divine Erosion.
Just like the new "Three Kingdoms" where so much melodrama happened before and after the Battle of Red Cliffs, such as the abusive love triangle between Zhuge Liang, Xiao Qiao, and Zhou Yu, or Cao Cao seeing through Zhou Yu's counter-espionage plot, only for fate to forcibly correct the timeline at the critical moment, allowing Zhuge Liang's plan to succeed and Cao Cao to flee through Huarong Path. Similarly, the characters in this work exhibit massive left-brain vs. right-brain conflicts.
Let's take Bowser's character shift as an example.
At the beginning, the screenwriters planted many conflicting foreshadowings between Bowser and the Mario Brothers. Bowser, turned into a small turtle form by the Mini Mushroom, had to restrain his temper and act pitiful while imprisoned, waiting for a chance to restore himself. Both Mario and Bowser admired Princess Peach, always sparking tension. Mario wanted to keep Bowser small to reduce the threat to Peach, but Luigi, softened by Bowser's displayed "friendliness," leaned towards restoring Bowser to his original form...
Anyone with eyes can see that there is a lot of story potential here.
Then, the screenwriters wasted all of this.
We see Mario, provoked by Bowser's words, fly into a rage and stomp off the Mini Mushroom status. Bowser thus skips the ideological conflict between brothers and returns to his original form. At this point, shouldn't the Mario Brothers feel the anger of being imprisoned for ten thousand years?
Wrong! Bowser instantly transformed from a sinister big boss to a Fat Tiger-like character in a theatrical version. He suddenly kissed Old Ma (Mario), becoming an iron-blooded good brother willing to sacrifice himself for the Mario Brothers—and indeed, he sacrificed himself, selling his body to Queen Bee to become a mining slave. All character development during this period was skipped.
The only explanation for this is divine erosion.
Alright, let's assume Bowser truly became Mario's good brother. In fact, after being rescued by Junior Bowser later, he did show some emotions of being both enemy and friend, appreciating each other. He had ideological conflicts with Junior Bowser, whom he had raised to be a pure villain... Next, would there be a scene of father and son having a heart-to-heart talk, influencing and growing together, and facing the bond between them and the Mario Brothers?
Oh, by the way, there were less than twenty minutes left until the end of the movie. The screenwriter indicated that time was running out. According to the long-standing tradition of the "Mario" series, it was time to put a Bowser at the end of the level, defeat him, pull the flag, and wrap up. So, as the Song of Guan Yu played, our good brother Bowser immediately forgot Everythinggj he had experienced before.
He went berserk, charged in with red eyes, instantly defeated, fell into magma, and died.
If Bowser's left-brain vs. right-brain conflict can be described as an "abrupt change," since his relationship with the protagonist as both enemy and friend and their endless struggle are reflected in both the original game and the movie plot, the characterization of some other characters is purely broken and ruins the original work.
Do you remember what Rosalina was doing before she was captured?
She is telling adventure stories about Mario to her children, the Lumas. Immediately after, she is kidnapped in front of her own children. Keep in mind, in the picture book of the original "Super Mario Galaxy," the Lumas transformed into stars to stop Rosalina from crying. The bond between the Lumas and Rosalina is deeply affectionate.
No-prize quiz: At this moment, witnessing their mother being captured, what will the Lumas do?
The answer is, the old geezer who urged us to sleep is gone. Everyone hurry up and party, keep the music playing, keep dancing.
It wasn't until their "idol," the Mario Brothers, accidentally contacted them via the Star Fox spaceship radio that they joined the search for their mother, driven by the desire to meet their idol, piloting the Observatory... By this time, it was already the late stage of the movie, and the protagonist group was almost breaking into Bowser's planet.
Are there any humans left?
I don't know. I only know that the last person who spoke and acted like this was indeed also eroded by divine will.
Therefore, you cannot gain any narrative experience of character-driven stories or stories changing characters from "Super Mario Galaxy: The Movie." Such a group of characters with left-brain vs. right-brain conflicts and mental disorders naturally cannot perform a normal story. They exhaust themselves just contradicting themselves, and plot twists basically rely on空降 (airdropping) new characters or settings. Except for the fairly decent depiction of the father-son relationship between Big and Junior Bowser in the middle of the story, the plot at other times is almost entirely manipulated by divine will.
Not to mention, these terminally ill plotlines had to make way for the demand to cram in Easter egg character appearances. Here, squeeze in Queen Bee for three minutes of filler; there, insert a boss battle from "Super Mario Bros. 2" for five minutes of filler. The time originally reserved for character development, psychological description, and environmental storytelling was squeezed out by things that were "completely unnecessary."
The final result was that the already terrible narrative was further shattered into pieces, failing to clarify anything it intended to express. Seeing that time was running out at the end, they hastily defeated Bowser, set off fireworks, let the princess kiss Mario, and muddled through just enough.
Therefore, I completely understand the breakdown of professional critics on platforms like Rotten Tomatoes.
"Super Mario Galaxy: The Movie" is not a film built following basic cinematic principles. Its disrespect for cinema exceeds that of "Ready Player One" and the first "Super Mario Bros. Movie." In terms of narrative, it messed up almost every aspect a movie could mess up. The only things it did well were its appearance to "lure" people into theaters and the countless Easter eggs to "pander" to the player community.
You can even be certain that even if the movie's runtime weren't 90 minutes, but 120 or even 180 minutes, the plot and character development wouldn't be much better. Following the philosophy conveyed in the film that Everythinggj must make way for game Easter eggs, an extra hour of runtime would only bring an extra hour of game Easter eggs.
Put yourself in my shoes: if I, as a game editor, played a game with terrible gameplay, completely broken character development, and nothing redeeming other than great graphics and numerous homages to classic films, I would also give it a low score. I might even harshly criticize the developers for betraying the original intent of game development for commercial purposes, putting the cart before the horse, and setting a bad precedent for the industry.
However, you and I here—the movie-watching crowd—are not professional critics. We don't need to enter the theater with a mission, don't need to submit reviews within a deadline to meet quotas, and don't need to worry about whether our evaluations will be scrutinized by peers and audiences.
This means that while watching the movie, we can use a privilege that film critics cannot—turning off our brains.
If we turn off our brains, we can completely ignore the inconsistent character development, filler transitional plots, and deus ex machina plot twists, and fully immerse ourselves in the parts it did well. The level of audiovisual elements such as special effects, models, character animations, BGM, sound effects, and fight choreography is undoubtedly top-tier in the industry. Plus, with a vast number of appearing characters and homage Easter eggs, if you wish, you can treat it as a 90-minute CG cutscene of "Super Smash Bros."
Rather, the sooner you turn off your brain, the better your viewing experience of "Super Mario Galaxy: The Movie" will be. Not to say how much you'll enjoy it, but at least you won't suffer from "physiological discomfort" like those professional critics, who often have to endure pain to get through it.
So, after watching Bowser's repeated flip-flops due to divine erosion, I smiled with relief, swallowed my brain, and started enjoying it mindlessly. I enjoyed the rest of the movie quite a bit. When Mr. Game & Watch appeared, I almost jumped up and cheered. I really liked this stick figure when playing "Smash Bros."
However, if you ask me whether I can reconcile with "Super Mario Galaxy: The Movie"—
Joking aside, my childhood white moonlight Rosalina was messed up like this by them. I can never forgive "Super Mario Galaxy: The Movie."
